A Child's Dream - Part 3

"The sun set over the city as Keli looked across the skyline. She was stood on a balcony of her hotel, her helmet reflecting the beautiful scene that was set before her.
Below the balcony, she could see the humans walking in the streets. The amazing humans. The humans who she cared for very much, whilst she was just waiting for a single one to feel the same way about her. Just one amongst billions. Surely the chances were in her favour?
The skyscrapers that dotted the city dwarfed her, even though she was on the second-to-top floor of the hotel. She changed her balance so she was leaning against the glass of the balcony, allowing it to support her weight.
She stared at the palm of her three-fingered hand.
"Only if I had five..." she grumbled, "Only if I had five..."
She considered the human planet completely beautiful. There was so much to see, so much to do, so many people to meet... and there wasn't the risk of slavery like there was on several non-council planets. Like the Omega Station.
Despite the fact that Keli'Ria had only been on the planet for a matter of days, she missed the Flotilla. There was something comforting about the fact that you were surrounded by fifty thousand other starships. And she was with her own people there too. On the human planet, she was probably the only Quarian. She felt people staring at her - perhaps in disgust - as she walked down the street and tried to absorb the beautiful sights.
She knew most humans didn't like Quarians. But she didn't blame them. They had done a bad thing in the past, but she wanted to know why they blamed her. She wasn't even alive when the Geth were created. She had no part to play in what happened at all, and yet still they looked down their noses at her.
It was kind of sad, considering how much she liked them."
Emi sighed happily. The human planet, that she presumed was Earth, sounded so beautiful. Even though she was scared to be leaving the Migrant Fleet so soon, she was excited. She finally got to meet her favourite race in the galaxy!
Except for the fact she had already met one. The soldier in the corridor who she had accidentally knocked in to. It defeated the... thrill, of being on a new planet and meeting your very first alien. It was like reading a new book after reading a page in the middle. But it wouldn't stop her being a tourist. A tourist who looked at humans as well as the views.
Even if she did find a human who liked her, though... they couldn't ever work as a couple. Their protein was harmful to Quarians and because of the differences, they couldn't have any children, either. But maybe, maybe they'd show her a good time. Maybe they'd show her all that Earth has to offer. Maybe they'd take her dancing or something.
But she knew she'd be content with just knowing that someone, somewhere liked her in that way. She wouldn't care if they chose not to take their relationship further than just declaring their feelings for one another, but it was a sign someone cared. Yes, she would have liked a more... physical relationship, but perhaps just for the experience. Quarians never got to do anything like that and it'd be interesting to see why a big deal was made from it on the human worlds. The ultimate sign of trust. The ultimate sign of love...
Whereas all Quarians could do, in reality, was link their suit environments. She wanted to experience the feeling of having someone who loved her. Her heart ached. She craved love and compassion and... everything like that. She wanted to experience everything. Everything that Earth had to do or see. The aim of a Pilgrimage was to bring back something to give a Captain of a ship that you would be assigned to - it changed from the one you grew up on - but her purpose of being on Earth was to see everything. Hear everything. Smell everything. Touch everything. Taste everything.
Even if she'd have to have her food pureed. Even if she had to use an emergency induction port, or as the humans called them - a straw.
The chance to be able to interact and experience new things thrilled her. She wanted to know everything about the humans and their society.
She couldn't exactly put her finger on what she wanted. But knew she wanted everything when it came to Earth.
But most of all she desired love. She wanted someone to hold her. She wanted someone who would be able to quench her thirst for the unknown. Sometimes her need made her want to tear her hair out. It was frustrating, to want to do so much and yet only being able to do so little.
But maybe she was being unrealistic. Maybe she had her expectations too high due to the book she always read. Maybe they painted humanity as a civilisation of good and decent people - which probably wasn't true after what Bei said that they called the Quarians.
Suit-Rats.
She felt like she was trapped in a cage. Like the Migrant Fleet were her restraints and out there - Earth - was her freedom. There was only several hours to go until she left for her Pilgrimage and she couldn't wait. Doubts flittered across her mind about the humans. She felt like her emotions were changing every second. Happy, sad, excited, frustrated, nervous...
Keelah, she didn't know how she felt. Her heart was thudding in her chest as if it was her body's way of saying "calm down, everything will be fine". She took a few deep breaths and gently rubbed her finger over the bones in her shoulder. The artificial nerve stimulator gave her the feeling of relaxation and her head slumped back into her pillow.
"Keelah..." she whispered to herself, "... I am stupid sometimes..."
She always got herself in such a... the Quarians didn't have a word for it. It was such a complex mixture of emotions that was so frustrating and so... grr. She didn't understand why she did it. It was just... new. As soon as there was a change in her circumstances the emotional concoction appeared and then she didn't know what to do.
Maybe sleeping for a while would help. She had a few hours until her mother would call for her to enter the shuttle bay. And she couldn't leave herself in such a state. Touching her shoulder had relaxed her but she could still feel her worries and doubts at the edge of her mind.
Emi moved so she was laying on her back, with her hands together and resting gently on her stomach. She pushed her gold and grey patterned hood backwards so her head was more comfortable.
It didn't take long to fall asleep.

"Emi, come on!" her mother yelled, "You'll be late for your own Pilgrimage if you don't hurry!"
She sat up instantly and practically leaped out of bed. She blinked away the remainders of her sleep and then pulled her hood so it came up to about the middle of her head. She could feel the soft material as it touched the metal.
"... Where do I go?" she asked.
Her mother grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of their living quarters. The patterned blanket rubbed against her arm and she couldn't help but smiling at the sensation. Everything felt so amazing when you hadn't ever experienced anything like it before.
She was led to the shuttle bay. Her mother pressed the circular green hologram that operated the locking mechanism and it hissed open. It revealed a room full of equipment and had about thirty shuttles in total. It was a reasonably large room, enough to cram the entire crew of the large starship into it. It was customary for everyone to be there when someone left on their Pilgrimage.
There was a single shuttle that was powered up and laying open, revealing a dark cockpit.
Did they expect her to fly it?
She walked into the centre of the room, in front of the crowd. She felt nervous but excited. The Captain - Cal'Reun - stepped forward.
"Emi'Derik," he said, "Despite the set back with the Geth and even though you are technically a full grown woman already, you will be leaving on your Pilgrimage. Please state your chosen planet."
"... Earth," she responded.
"Your Pilgrimage will not last for any specific time period, but you will return once you have brought a gift for your new captain. The ship will be chosen at random once you return. You have already downloaded upgrades for your environment suit which will help you on your trip. But we have other gifts for you. At any time during your Pilgrimage you may need additional protection, so armour and weapons are available on board the shuttle.
We understand that the Flotilla is currently cruising through the Outer Rim, which is at the other side of the galaxy to Alliance Space. Travelling that distance, even at light speed, will take time. So we have applied suitable entertainment systems inside.
Your trip will end once you return. But to get back to the Migrant Fleet you will need passcodes. If you have completed your Pilgrimage and have returned with a gift, your password is "Among the stars, among the light". If you have failed your Pilgrimage and have no gift, your passcode is "Down in the darkness. Among the depths". If you fail your shuttle will be fired upon. Do you understand?"
"... What?"
No one had told her anything about being shot down if she did not return with a gift...
"Do you understand?" the Captain repeated.
"... Yes..."
"Good luck to you Emi'Derik. May the ancestors be with you. Keelah se'lai."
"... Keelah se'lai."
She stepped on board the shuttle. It folded back upwards so it sealed behind her. She sat in the rear, surrounded by screens and other terminals with links to the extranet. She was interested in none of them.
Emi took her book out of her pouch as the shuttle's autopilot engaged and she left the shuttle bay, into the darkness of space.
But her destination was the planet that she loved.